Tension is something we seem to easily find in daily life, whether in family, friendships, or our professional relationships. Quite often, the reason for tension is due to the human condition of trying to conform other people to be more like us; instead of both parties focusing their eyes on Christ and trying to grow closer to the Image of Christ. It is in that image that we were originally made in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 1:27).
When it comes to financial tension in building relationships, we are choosing to not be stewards of the Lord, but trying to developing a better version of ourselves in the other person. Looking throughout the storyline of the Nation of Israel, which mirrors our own lives, we see that anything in the image of man will not last and lead to brokenness, pain, and sin. That is why we see so many broken friendships, relationships, and divorces not only in the secular world but in the church as well. Through this blog, James 1:19-20 will be used to show how beauty can come from tension in regards to our slowness to anger and speak but being quick to listen and to see how tension decreases as our dependency in Christ increases.
To begin, individual financial stress is difficult enough. I have heard a lot of my fellow young adults refer to finances and the stress like being a fish trying to swim upstream. When it comes to being slow to anger and slow to speak, my heart reminds me of John 3:30 where John says; “ I must decrease and he must increase.” To get where we all strive to be, as a husband, father, or CEO, it costs a lot of time and money to grow and enter the experience needed to reach those wonderful positions. Even after reaching these goals, anger and frustration can be the most commonly produced fruit, rather than the fruits of the spirit like love and patience.
“Feeling beaten down by money worries can adversely impact your sleep, self-esteem, and energy levels. It can leave you feeling angry, ashamed, or fearful, fuel tension and arguments with those closest to you, exacerbate pain and mood swings, and even increase your risk of depression and anxiety. You may resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as drinking, abusing drugs, or gambling to try to escape your worries. In the worst circumstances, financial stress can even prompt suicidal thoughts or actions.” (1)
Connecting back to John 3:30 , we know that the fruit produced comes from two places: us or God. When we try to make it about ourselves, we can anger quickly and speak without thinking, making our world revolve around us instead of pointing to Christ who is the one with all the answers to lead us to financial joy. Though we may be stressed through bills and put in tough spots, not knowing how you will get to next paycheck, we will find our peace and joy in God who will deliver us from all things.
Secondly, John 3:30 shows us that quick listening can lead to beautiful things when dealing with financial stress. When we are quiet and listen in prayer/ conversation with God or we are listening to a spouse or a Godly financial advisor, we can hear the voice of God through the quiet. We know God uses our alone time to speak to us through his word. But he will also use people that we have a deep connection with to speak to us.
When I am quick to listen, I often have patience and respond to God's word closely. When we are quick to listen, be patient and respond to God's word we are creating a three step process to know we are truly following God in our daily life. Our financial situation can be seen through two types of conflict: internal conflict (self v self) or external conflict (self v another person). Regardless of which conflict, the ability to listen and be patient allows each person to see that when we are quick to anger and speak, we are placing blame on one another, instead of listening and understanding blame is not important now.
What’s important is resolution. “Active listening is essential for conflict resolution because it can help you uncover the underlying issues, needs, and interests that are driving the conflict. Often, conflicts are not caused by what people say, but by what they feel or want. By listening actively, you can discover the hidden emotions, values, and motivations that are influencing the behavior and communication of the other person. This can help you empathize with their situation, acknowledge their feelings, and validate their concerns. Active listening can also help you avoid assumptions, biases, and defensive reactions that can escalate the conflict or create resentment.” (2)
Through John 3:30, we ultimately see that the beauty in financial conflict is understanding our dependence on Christ. We cannot be quick to listen or slow to anger without the mercy and forgiveness of God in our own hearts first. A quick story in my own life, a few months ago i was in financial conflict with myself about my yearly budget and what it would look like to start a new business, my heart was filled with fear of how I would get the foundation laid or how I would be able to invest time and money into it with other bills taking 90% of my income and multiple jobs.
Understanding that my time and money was not mine to begin with and the company was in fact Gods and the success of everything I put my heart into will be used for the glory of God. And even if this business fails was the catalyst to what turned my anxiousness to peace. Regardless of what happens, the gospel will be presented in everything I do and God will be glorified in a successful company because it ultimately doesn't matter about profit, or how long the company lasts or how successful we can pass it onto the next generation. But what lasts is how many gospel seeds will be planted into hearts, and how many seeds are watered through our operations.
Though my mind does get overwhelmed often, my heart is at peace and excited for where this new adventure leads. Ultimately, when we see the need for Christ in a financial crisis, we see the ultimate beauty in a financial crisis. The trait of selflessness is needed in any situation, and any internal or external conflict. The ultimate beauty is growth through our selflessness, patience, and listening when the world throws temptation our way.
In conclusion, James 1:19-20 allows us to grow in listening, patience, and selflessness to not only find beauty in financial conflict, but in our goal to grow closer to God. First, the beauty of the peace that comes from being slow to anger and speak. Then, when we are quick to listen, we often can turn our focus from blame to resolution. And finally, the true beauty in conflict is finding new ways to see our dependency in Christ and his love and forgiveness grow in our life. In any conflict, the resolution is not how we should resolve it ourselves, but find the abundant peace in giving it to God and allowing him to produce the fruits of the spirit in us to find resolution.
1. Robinson, Lawrence. “Coping with Financial Stress.” HelpGuide.Org, 6 June 2023, ww
2. Conflict Resolution “How Can Active Listening Help You Identify the Root Cause of a Conflict and Find a Win-Win Solution?” Active Listening Skills Examples for Conflict Resolution, Conflict Resolution, 19 Jan. 2023
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